A would-be protégé of Heston Blumenthal and Gordon Ramsay has recently come under fire for a premature PR offensive for his new restaurant – the renovated and renamed Alexanders in Limpsfield, Surrey. The chef, Simon Attridge, went onto the eGullet website – a well-known site devoted to the “culinary arts” – asking for advice on how to attract critics to his new restaurant.

A flurry of responses – and offers – flowed in, with advice on all manner of things. The restaurant’s website was singled out for verbal crimes with gems like “an event in the art of good eating” and similar useless gibberish favoured over information about the actual food served.

And most were outraged by the prices – £17 for a scallop starter – for a restaurant that’s a fair way outside of central London, with not even a star to its name (yet). Simon’s forum buddies urged him to slash the prices, build up a good local client base and then get the critics in. Good reviews would probably mean better business from visitors who don’t live nearby, and bad reviews won’t hurt all that much if Simon is willing to accept the criticism.

So what was the verdict – does the story have an uplifting ending where the chef redeems himself despite all the odds? Unfortunately for Simon, that’s not quite how it played out…

Last Sunday, he got what he wanted – a review in the Observer by Jay Rayner, lovingly entitled “La Grande Delusion”. Uh oh. Here are a few choice bits:

“Alexanders at Limpsfield in Surrey wants a Michelin star like adolescent girls want to snog Johnny Depp.”

On the £17 scallop starter:

“Around the plate a Jackson Pollock nose bleed of reduced red wine, a heap of pain d’epice – crunchy, spiced biscuit crumb – slices of poached pear, a bit of pea shoot salad, and some curls of uncooked celery. Oh yes, and four seared scallops. It speaks volumes that I almost forgot about them. The scallops were cooked perfectly well but were completely overwhelmed by everything else. Curiously though, the soft pear and the crunchy spiced crumb went together beautifully. In short, somewhere in this starter was a lovely dessert struggling to get out. This can never be a good thing.”

“At the moment, Alexanders is pricing itself as if it were a destination restaurant. And that, I’m afraid, is not the way to make people go there.”

For Mr Rayner’s full swing at Alexanders – though not without some positives, too: “Attridge and his team can, for the most part, cook” – check out the full review here.

Lessons to learn? If you ask for advice, people might expect you to take it. Let’s hope Alexanders learns the second time round.

For the original thread on eGullet go here.

Alexanders at Limpsfield
The Old Lodge, High Street, Limpsfield, Surrey
Tel: 01883 714 365
Price: Meal for two including wine, £150